Preparation

Its amazing how many things that are laid out for us in scripture. For some reason we skim over these amazing bits of advice and go to other sources instead. In my own life/marriage I am blessed to have a group of Godly women who are not afraid to tell me the truth- This was not always true. I remember several "expert advisors" who gave me extremely detrimental advice. Most even women who called themselves believers. 
My question today is who are you listening too? Who is in your life that you trust to tell you like it is? Who helps prepare your heart in times you need humility and wisdom?
Esther had Mordecai. She trusted him, and listened to his counsel. He had taken her in as an orphan and taken care of her as his own. There are many things to be learned here, but I want to focus on the voices around us.
There have been several times in my own marriage where i jumped without preparation. I reacted solely based on my emotional state without preparing my heart before God and listening to His heart before sinking into the selfishness of my own desires. Each and every time I handle a big issue in my relationship with my spouse in this way it 100% of the time fails.
Look at Esther. The scriptures say that Esther was groomed and prepared for 12 months. I see a stark parallel for marriage in this. I think about how many opportunity's during this time that Esther must have role-played in her mind what she would say to the King. I can imagine her bouncing her ideas off her maidens. I bet she changed her script many many times.
I can look back on my marriage and see how much better big situations that I had to deal with would have ended if I had taken time to prepare. Now obviously there are some things that have to be dealt with before a 12 month period, but nonetheless taking time to pray for God to take away any bitterness in my heart, and giving me wisdom and gentleness in my words are well worth waiting On the other side we see that God was also working on the King's heart. Just because King Xerxes was not a man of God, does not mean that God was not setting the stage to prepare his heart. 
Many times the huge issues that have arisen in my marriage are met with my quick anger and foolish words. I had been wronged and gosh dang it my husband was going to hear about it as soon as he picks up his phone or walks in the door. If i would have just taken the time to let God prepare my heart and tongue, seek Godly counsel, and allow God to prepare my husbands heart-what a difference it would have made. I am fully aware of how difficult this is, but the rewards are great. Our tongue can be so destructive. My daughter heard a very interesting truth, and with this I will close. Our tongue can be our greatest enemy. It can quickly bring death into our homes and squelch the love and emotional fulfillment we desire in our marriage. God created snakes mouths so that they cannot bite down on themselves kill themselves with the venom in their mouths, with us this is not so. We can poison ourselves and everyone around us with the venom of anger, bitterness and unkindness. We must constantly prepare our hearts so our tongues might speak life, and in doing so bring the healing in our homes that brings repentance and reconciliation.